Oh my lordy I haven't written a journal here since MAY. I mean really, MAY. That's a crazy long time. It feels so weird to be writing another journal on here, I dunno. It just kind of does.

So anyways, hi. c: My birthday has come and gone, I've turned 16. I've been sick since my birthday though, is that a bad sign? xD I was throwing up the first week, and now that it's the second week I have a horrible sore throat. D: I miss singing along to songs </3

~MistressWinter and I are going to try to learn a language via Rosetta Stone, today marking our first day. She's learning French, I'm learning Spanish. I'm already on Lesson 2, and oh my LORD it can be fun to say things out-loud, though the word El Caballo is astoundingly hard to pronounce. Stupid horses >:U y u no have easy word?!


I've also been getting re-addicted to this game called Haven & Hearth. ~MistressWinter and I made a deal, she won't listen to music until she's done an hour of Rosetta Stone, and I won't play my H&H game until I've done an hour of Rosetta Stone. This way, we'll actually be TRYING TO LEARN. How fun!


Note to self: DAYDREAM MORE! I haven't been daydreaming a lot lately and that makes me really sad, because I love to get lost in daydreams, and usually it helps me fall asleep. But lately I've been falling right to sleep, so I guess that's good.


Another note to self: Remember how lovely it feels to draw, remember the sound of lead against paper, the feel of pencil scraping against anything. Sketch more: But love it. Draw only when you want to, when whatever it is will make you happy.


I hardly enjoy drawing anymore, mostly because whenever I pick up a pencil I have things weighing on my mind: "I have to draw this for so and so, so and so's birthday is coming up, father's day is coming up, etc" and that really sucks the fun and enjoyment out of a hobby. When suddenly everybody expects you to draw every day, all day.

So right now, I'm kind of on a break I guess. Until something inspires me, until I actually feel the want to draw. I've been browsing artists here on dA, but so far I haven't been 'inspired'.


I remember the original reason why I got back into drawing. It was because I looked at something someone drew, and I said "I can draw better than that." I of course, couldn't. But it was a nice thought, I could imagine myself drawing better than that. I'd like to someday have my imagination in tune with how I actually draw, I think that's my ideal.


The way I draw in my head, it's.. it's so beautiful. I have so many styles and, I can see myself drawing it. I can see my wrist flicking, and the strokes, but when I try to copy it down on paper, it's not the same. I wish it was the same.

*Pyromaniac was the reason why I got back into drawing. I saw one of his drawings on Photobucket, and I searched around until I found him here. I said to myself, "I bet if I kept practicing, I could draw better than him in no time!" But that shouldn't be a reason to draw, to continue drawing. To be better than so and so. It should just be for fun, as a nice hobby, right? <3